Love to All the Mommies From Mommy C

And so we welcome the merry month of May.

It was hot outside, somewhere in the high 80’s. It’s the kind of weather you’d love to have when you’re building sandcastles or throwing Frisbees.

Mother’s Day is just around the corner. I guess it goes without saying that I’m feeling crappy as Sunday approaches. How can you possibly celebrate Mother’s Day when the children you bore are thousands of miles away?

Nonetheless, I don’t want to bring all the mothers out there down. I hope your children are putting in all their efforts to show you how much they appreciate you.

So, who else’s FB news feed has been flooded with this status message since May 1^st?

For all the Moms who have traded eyeliner for dark circles, salon haircuts for ponytails, long showers for stubble on their legs, late nights for early mornings, designer purses for diaper bags and wouldn’t change a thing!! I LOVE MY KIDS!!!! With Mother’s day drawing near, let’s see how many moms repost this. Moms don’t care what they gave up and will continue to give up for our kids! ?

I think it’s sweet. And I definitely commend mothers who have given up so much of this world’s hedonistic, uhm, idiosyncrasies, if you will, for their children. I, however, just can’t see myself posting the same status because…I didn’t. I didn’t give any of those up. Of course, I’ve made major adjustments, dropped a couple of thisandthat. Cut down on thisandthat. Rearranged my priorities. But, no, I didn’t give those up. Just yesterday, while Ms B went to play golf with Chef and Faja, I went shopping with mommy at this center.

So, I still do the whole self-pampering thing. I’m crazy over makeup. I get haircuts (sometimes with hours of hair treatments). I shave my legs. I indulge in designer purses (at least those that I can afford).

I get ME time and my husband actually asks if I’ve had enough of it.

So, does that mean I don’t deserve the same kind of commendation?

Does that mean I love my kids less?

Does that make me selfish?

Does that make me such a terrible mother?

Well…maybe. Maybe not.

Those dark circles, no matter how hard we try to make them disappear, with the busy schedules we have as mothers and wives, the only thing that can make them vanish are those concealers, eye shadows and eyeliners.

Those unshaven legs, they don’t look very good when you’re wearing the shorts that allow you to run comfortably with your children.

The haircut, the purses…well, yeah, sure. They’re just for us. But is that so bad?

I get kudos for my kids’ achievements, manners, sharp wits and all that jazz. I’m all good. As a bonus, my daughter draws happy faces on my hand, too, for a “great job”. (Right now, though, the reassurances from Little Princess are reduced to the thumbs up emoticon on Skype.)

Aaaaanyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s doable. We can do both. We can’t exactly have the look that had our husbands at hello, but we can at least show them that we’re not letting ourselves go, that we’re putting in an effort – for them, for us.

I don’t want to dwell so much into it as that would be risking offending other women. And that’s the last thing in the world I want to happen.

Just think about it…

We don’t like our husbands looking scruffy and unpresentable when we’re in public with them, right? It may sound all-superficial, but it’s true. We want to walk side by side with someone and say in our heads as women check them out, yes, he’s with me.

Come on. Don’t you think your husbands feel the same way?

Being a wife and a mother means putting our family’s needs first. First. That’s the word that most women overlook. That means we have to meet our own needs, too. No matter how irrational they are.

So, mommies in the world, have a great Mother’s Day!

Take care of yourselves. Love yourselves.

One of the things I learned from being married to Um and mother to his kids is that the more I love myself, the more love I have for them.