Easter’s Debbie Downer

Debbie Downer once again. I’m sorry. The Facebook status messages are really getting me down. Everybody is off to their Maundy Thursday to Easter Sunday holiday. Being the free (meaning no leave-filing necessary) vacation for Um, this is the time of year that we head off to the beach or drive out of town with the kiddos.

Um tells me that they’re going to a friend’s resort for this long weekend getaway. Little Princess and Captain Awesome are excited, but wish that Mommy were there. I hope they know that I’m wishing for the same thing. Or, more specifically, I’m just wishing to be with them. It doesn’t matter where, as long as the table setting is set for four.

I’ve been observing people – couples, couples with kids. I’ve been yearning so much to be around the people I love the most and the people who love me the most. I miss that. I miss feeling the kind of love that is specifically allotted for me. Not extra. Not next to priority. Love that is tailor-made for Ms C. I long to be hugged. I have not felt so much warmth since the night of my flight.

I watch people. I listen to them. They have no idea how lucky they are to be with the people they love. There are so many things we tend to overlook. One of them is company, which is kind of ironic because we all (perhaps with the exception of my dear friend Jane Smith) want it.

If this whole experience is a course study on how to not take my family for granted, then I’m glad I’m taking it. And I hope I put into practice what I have learned or what I have yet to learn when we are all together again.