Central Perk Anecdotes: The Worst Small Talk Ever

Yes, yes…just what the world needs. Another freelance writer in a coffee shop. You’d be relieved to know, though, that I am not writing a book. I’m a social media junkie and I do Internet marketing. So, there.

This post is short, but I hope the inanity of the anecdote would prove to be substantial. Yes, yes. An oxymoron. Forgive me.

Anyway, brace yourselves for a dash of idiotic small city humor.

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Coffee shop employee cleans the table next to mine while I work on a fist-clenching human papilloma virus (HPV) article and decides to start a small talk…

Guy: What are you taking?

Me: Huh?

Guy: What are you taking?

Me: I’m sorry, I don’t understand the question.

Guy: You’re a student, right?

Me: Oh. No. I earned my degree years ago.

Guy: What do you mean?

Me: Uhh..I graduated from college years ago.

Guy: Oh, you don’t look like it, though.

Me (confused): I hope you mean that I look young and not that I look dumb.

Guy: Well, yeah. Plus, you honestly don’t look like you’d go through college. I mean, you have got to be a geek to put yourself through that shit. And you look pretty cool to me.

At that point, I just looked at him and went back to my writing.

Maaaan, I have got to get out of this place. I don’t want to raise my children here!!!!