I have always known that I want to get as much as possible out of this life. I just never realized there would be too many cut outs for just one vision board. So, I decided to come up with at least three: one for life in general, one for my travel bucket list and one for the things I wish for Captain Awesome and Little HRH. (Although, the kids will probably want to get their creative juices flowing and come up with their own vision boards.)

Working on the travel vision board is the tricky one. As I have previously quoted, the world is not small and, I want to see every corner of it. I have cut out pictures of Bali, Santorini, Santiago De Compostela, Rio De Janeiro and I came across some heavenly options for Turkey holidays. And my, oh, my!!! Look what I found!

photo credit: Cappadocia-Hotels.com

That, my friends, is Yunak Evleri, a five-star hotel within the limestone cave in the village of Urgup in Cappadocia, Turkey.  This jewel is carved into a mountain cliff and offers six unique cave houses, including a Greek mansion that dates back to the 1800s.  It is so exclusive, it only has 30 rooms! It looks like the kind of quiet couples would want to have for a romantic escapade — away from all the hustle-and-bustle and the [organized] chaos of married-with-children life. Translation: A place perfect for me and Um!

P. S.

For those that cannot live without the Internet, do not worry. While the word “cave” might give an impression of peace, quiet and some primitive way of life, Yunak Evleri is fully equipped with the finest facilities, including WiFi to keep you connected with the outside world (if you must stay connected, that is).

I got to do some catching up with cousin’s wife the other day while we were at his parents’ place for a simple dinner for my late paternal grandfather’s 40th day. As it turns out, things are finally starting to work out for them. My cousin, an ex-military guy, finally landed a decent job after being unemployed for quite some time following his release from Iraq. This allowed his wife to be a stay-at-home wife and mom, and both of them to finally do some house-hunting (they have been trying to move out of the parents’ house for quite a while now).

Not that I was not paying her attention, OK? But, as she was showing me their printout cheat-sheets of the houses they checked out that day, my thoughts could not help but linger to the day Um and I can finally go house-hunting for our family!  Quite frankly, being “new” here again, I am not really sure where the best place to establish is. I just want a vibrant and intellectual environment for Captain Awesome and Little HRH (and for me and Um, too).

Santa Cruz always turns up in the first page of the results every time I search for “best places to live in California”. I have yet to invest a good amount of time looking into the other factors before putting it into consideration.

SoCal is still calling, though. Last week, I got to speak with another cousin of mine who lives 15 or so minutes from Los Angeles. It was her birthday and I called her up to greet her. During our convo, she asked when I am finally going there, assured me that her house is always open as a startup and so on. This weekend, a good friend called urging me to move to SoCal. So, I dunno. Big city, beaches, and Hollywood, baby!!! There is nothing more you can ask! It is kinda like the neighborhood Um and I had back in the P.I.

It is just hard to take huge risks when you have children. So, baby steps. How about Sacramento first? At least it is somewhat close to my parents’ and Ms B’s.

I was born and raised in one of the largest cities in the Philippines. And, before I finally packed up and left for the United States, I lived in, arguably, the busiest location in Quezon City within walking distance to two of the largest broadcasting networks in the country. I lived across a mini mall, for crying out loud!

I have said this many times before to one too many people: suburban valley life, where everything closes at 8pm, bores the hell out of me!!!

I want to be able to just get up and satisfy my late night cravings for thisandthat cuisine whenever I want. I want to have an options between watching a DVD at home and heading off to the cinemas in the middle of the night for my movie nights with my husband. I want to support underground artists by going to their gigs and exhibits. And it’s more than that. The gist is, I long for a vibrant and intellectual environment where there is plenty of interesting opportunities for Um and I to hone our children’s talents and skills, and ultimately maximize their potential.

That is why I try to make the most out of my little visits to San Francisco. These trips are like instant city breaks for me. Shopping. Dining. Clubbing. Yes, I do a little of those – but not as often as I want. Though I do these things like a hungry tourist, what I love most about San Francisco is the walking-around-with-the-locals part. I breathe in all that my eyes can see and let out a heavy sigh wishing I lived there.

Christmas Tree @ Union Square, SF

Most people here in the States would give everything to build a home and raise their children outside the big city, with the assumption that the communities are generally better and more appropriate for families. For Um, Captain Awesome, Little HRH and I, though, suburbia is just too idle for the kind of people that we are.

To each his own, I guess.

We all are different with what we contemplate on as we grow older. Some people measure themselves with their belongings, or with what they have learned, or by their faiths and spirituality, or with how much they have given back to the world and the rest of humanity. Like some people, I measure my life by my dreams and accomplishments. Last year, I had just become a wife and was busy planning our church wedding. Since then, we have accomplished this feat, bought a house, bought a car for Chef, and I finished my MBA (oh, and I became a better cook!). At twenty ____ (insert digit here but in my heart, I am still twenty five), these accomplishments are truly something to be proud of. But I know that my over-achiever, over-critical self would ask, that’s it? Not because I am ungrateful but more because even if these are quite grandiose, I truly had thought I would have accomplished more by now. I’d like to believe that I get wiser with age. I realize now there is something wrong with that statement. It is not that I thought I would have accomplished more. Rather, I guess I thought I was going to accomplish different things. Truly life happens, and sometimes it happens so fast that as you keep on walking just to move forward, you do not know when, where, why and what made you divert to another road. And then, on your birthdays, you try to look back on the path you’ve treaded, pause a bit and ask, now what? The only answer is: keep on walking.

There’s so much more to do. At this point, my bucket list (actually, for me and Chef it’s a bucket book) is long and thick, with some still floating around my brain that whatever I can claim as accomplishments in the past seem so puny. I have to put on my Wise Man hat and actually see those as a testament that I have the strength and the capacity to accomplish some more. That I could muster my courage and find every bit of confidence I have to continue to challenge myself.

I got another year under my belt, and with the grace of God, I look forward to another year. And with His mercy, I will be able to list my accomplishments for the year. I should learn to see that I am not a year older than last year. Rather, I’m only a day older than yesterday. Life happens everyday. We are supposed to get older and wiser everyday. On our birthdays, we honor our mothers who risk their lives to give us life. On our birthdays, we just pause and do a recap and check where we’re at. And then, we keep on walking.

I do hope that tomorrow, I truly, wholeheartedly believe all the things I just said here.

We went to hear mass during the Feast of the Epiphany and this was my journal entry that night:

At church this morning, the pastor delivered a sermon that I actually like. The pastor said, follow your star. And there was a sheet of paper that was handed to us that had 2005 on the left column, and 2006 on the right. ‘Write down, or even just think, what you want to FORGET about 2005 and what your GOAL is for 2006.’ Those were the instructions. My ever hyperactive brother on my right, although still noisy whispering to me his 2005, was very apparently downhearted. I do share his sentiments, but like everybody else, 2005 has gone, and we can’t do anything to undo our mistakes.

Tyler: What if we’re following the wrong star?

Ms B: Then that’s not your star.

Tyler: How would we know which one our star is?

Ms B: You’ll know. That’s why there’s supposed to be an epiphany.

Tyler: I know what my goal is. I know what my star is already. But I’m not on the road to it, if I look at what’s happening to me now.

Ms B: Well, that’s because you took a detour.

I felt weird knowing what to answer, when I have the same questions myself. But of course, it’s a rule, for someone who’s in need of some strength, you should always be strong enough yourself to shed even the faintest light of hope. And then it will be okay to falter when you’re alone.

… There was more to the entry, of course, which isn’t quite the point now. Today’s homily was about following your calling for your vocation, and how we must get rid of any obstacle to reaching that calling. I’m very much in deep thought and prayer about this because as far as I know, I have been trying to listen. But in this noisy heart and mind, I can’t hear IT yet. But I know, I need to look up in the sky, find my star, and make my way. My detour has taken long enough.

Now that school is out (at least the program, because I actually am starting my French classes tomorrow), I have a laundry list of projects to finish.

• Setting up the Loft – which I need to finish part of it as my friends are coming over to scrapbook on Monday.
• Finish my Paris, Seattle, Spain, and Manila Scrapbook
• Finish my Seattle, Spain, and Manila Photobook
• Selecting wedding pictures to send to Nelwin Uy for our wedding album
• Selecting the framed wedding picture
• Selecting the wedding pictures for canvas printing
• Framing artistic photos
• Starting my wedding Scrapbook
• Finishing our Paris video for my parents
• Finishing our house blessing video for my grandparents
• Finish reading one million books
• Finish decorating guest rooms
• Create personal theme with DreamWeaver
• Visit G in Japan
• Plan my parents’ trip of a lifetime
• …
• …
• …
• Life, pretty much

So apparently this list has become my to do list. So I’ll just finish them on my gmail task list. I have given myself a year off from school as I intend to go back again for another degree. But I’m a perennial student. There’s so much to learn. In this year off, I will spend more time in the kitchen and be more of a wife in that regard. I will learn how to use Dreamweaver, AI, and hopefully create the app that Chef and I envisioned. This is ridiculously exciting. I may have withdrawals from not having homework.

Woohoo!! Here’s to another accomplishment under my belt! I have an awesome husband who’s ever so patient. My God who always provides. My family who believes in things I can do. I am blessed. Oh, and by the way, that’s summa cum laude baby!!!

Now to use this… Hmmm… It’s time to build my empire.

photo: Ms B

taken: April 2008, Tagaytay Highlands, Philippines

I’m really missing these three kiddos right now. Not just them individually. More like the whole chaos. I really wish that there will come a time when bringing my whole family together is so easy. I want the security of knowing that the whole bunch is together, because it’s actually scheduled. Wherever it may be.