Another Year Under My Belt

Although I know that I should reflect on my life constantly, I, like probably a lot of people, deeply reflect on what I have done and what I have yet to do on two occasions: New Year’s and my birthday. Incidentally, today is one of those days. Yey me! Having friends from so many different time zones, I’ve been getting birthday greetings for the past 4 days. It is pretty humbling receiving these messages, especially that since I’ve avoided Facebook for several months now, I am guilty of not taking the few seconds of sending these birthday greetings. To my truest friends, however, I do send a heartfelt email.

We all are different with what we contemplate on as we grow older. Some people measure themselves with their belongings, or with what they have learned, or by their faiths and spirituality, or with how much they have given back to the world and the rest of humanity. Like some people, I measure my life by my dreams and accomplishments. Last year, I had just become a wife and was busy planning our church wedding. Since then, we have accomplished this feat, bought a house, bought a car for Chef, and I finished my MBA (oh, and I became a better cook!). At twenty ____ (insert digit here but in my heart, I am still twenty five), these accomplishments are truly something to be proud of. But I know that my over-achiever, over-critical self would ask, that’s it? Not because I am ungrateful but more because even if these are quite grandiose, I truly had thought I would have accomplished more by now. I’d like to believe that I get wiser with age. I realize now there is something wrong with that statement. It is not that I thought I would have accomplished more. Rather, I guess I thought I was going to accomplish different things. Truly life happens, and sometimes it happens so fast that as you keep on walking just to move forward, you do not know when, where, why and what made you divert to another road. And then, on your birthdays, you try to look back on the path you’ve treaded, pause a bit and ask, now what? The only answer is: keep on walking.

There’s so much more to do. At this point, my bucket list (actually, for me and Chef it’s a bucket book) is long and thick, with some still floating around my brain that whatever I can claim as accomplishments in the past seem so puny. I have to put on my Wise Man hat and actually see those as a testament that I have the strength and the capacity to accomplish some more. That I could muster my courage and find every bit of confidence I have to continue to challenge myself.

I got another year under my belt, and with the grace of God, I look forward to another year. And with His mercy, I will be able to list my accomplishments for the year. I should learn to see that I am not a year older than last year. Rather, I’m only a day older than yesterday. Life happens everyday. We are supposed to get older and wiser everyday. On our birthdays, we honor our mothers who risk their lives to give us life. On our birthdays, we just pause and do a recap and check where we’re at. And then, we keep on walking.

I do hope that tomorrow, I truly, wholeheartedly believe all the things I just said here.